Ham, Homophobia, and other Humdingers

ACP Shorties
In this excerpt from the cutting room floor, we're delivering some more listener submitted confessions. We can't make this shit up!

#ConfessionCorner

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__created by Colleen Devaney & Seth Spears
__edited & produced by Colleen Devaney
__independently produced in Maryland by Good Job, Weener Productions

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Key Words: confessions, confession corner, advice, ham, hot dog, bourbon, toxic masculinity, homophobia, glizzy gripper, bromhidrosis, problem solving, poop, panties 

Transcript

Transcript 

00:00:08 Speaker 1 

All right, so that means we're going to do a confession corner. 

00:00:11 Speaker 2 

That's right. 

00:00:13 Speaker 1 

Oh man, I need bourbon for this hold on, let me get my bourbon. 

00:00:17 Speaker 1 

Oh man. 

00:00:20 Speaker 3 

Confession corner contains real life professions from real people. 

00:00:22 Speaker 3 

These are not paid actors. 

00:00:23 Speaker 3 

All confessions are read word for word the best we can. 

00:00:25 Speaker 3 

Opinions from the hosts of her Candy podcast regarding the Confessions or Speed up and we don't give a damn about your feelings. 

00:00:30 Speaker 3 

If you don't like what we think side effects from potential corner may include happiness, irritability but hardness, laughter, stomach cramps, pause, sadness, confusion and occasional bubble guns, consult your psychiatrist to see if confession corner is good for your confession. 

00:00:40 Speaker 3 

Corner is a subsidiary. 

00:00:41 Speaker 3 

Uh Verken podcast. 

00:00:45 Speaker 2 

All right? 

00:00:46 Speaker 1 

All right am ready. 

00:00:46 Speaker 2 

I sure do love that disclaimer never gets old. 

00:00:49 Speaker 1 

You never know get these triggered folks out there. 

00:00:52 Speaker 2 

For sure. 

00:00:54 

Well, let's see. 

00:00:55 Speaker 2 

Let's see if any of these confessions today can get. 

00:00:57 Speaker 2 

Any feathers ruffled? 

00:00:58 Speaker 1 

We got a couple of good ones. 

00:00:59 Speaker 1 

Alright, so you want to do one. 

00:01:01 Speaker 1 

You want me to do one? 

00:01:02 Speaker 1 

You got this one or what? 

00:01:03 Speaker 2 

I'm going to start off by reading one. 

00:01:05 Speaker 2 

That is called too literal. 

00:01:07 Speaker 1 

Alright, I'm ready. 

00:01:08 Speaker 2 

And this one says when I was a kid I used ground pork to make a burger because I thought hamburgers were made from ham. 

00:01:17 Speaker 2 

When it didn't taste right, I realized they were made of beef. 

00:01:20 Speaker 2 

I never told anyone because I was too embarrassed. 

00:01:25 Speaker 2 

And that's it. 

00:01:26 Speaker 1 

OK, so listeners remember confession. 

00:01:30 Speaker 1 

Corner isn't always about the Humdinger summoners are actually pretty cute. 

00:01:33 Speaker 1 

OK, so don't go peeling our skin off and say fashion quarter no one died. 

00:01:36 

Just come. 

00:01:40 Speaker 2 

Yes, we have we the confessions run the gamut. 

00:01:43 Speaker 2 

There's all sorts of shapes and sizes and colors. 

00:01:46 Speaker 1 

Yeah, absolutely OK so. 

00:01:49 Speaker 2 

Well onto another one. 

00:01:50 Speaker 1 

This one is called. 

00:01:51 Speaker 1 

It's about my boss. 

00:01:53 Speaker 1 

All right, here we go. 

00:01:54 Speaker 1 

First off, let me say that I am 100% not trying to be * **** ***** this. OK, pause right here. 

00:02:01 Speaker 1 

Just to say. 

00:02:02 Speaker 1 

If you're going to start off a confession with that, we all know that you're are 100% trying to be * **** ***** this. 

00:02:10 Speaker 2 

Maybe not, maybe not. 

00:02:12 Speaker 1 

All right anyway, I guess I'm projecting here. Alright. Here we go, I'll start over. First off, let me say that I am 100% not trying to be * **** ***** this. 

00:02:21 Speaker 1 

I have a legitimate problem here and it is all affecting me on the daily. 

00:02:25 Speaker 1 

I am completely distracted at work. 

00:02:28 Speaker 1 

It's my boss. 

00:02:29 Speaker 1 

My boss smells like poop all the time. 

00:02:32 Speaker 1 

He literally leaves a trail of stink behind him when he leaves a room. 

00:02:37 Speaker 1 

If he were a cartoon character, he would have a green cloud around him at all times. 

00:02:43 Speaker 1 

Again, not trying to be a jerk, just need to vent about this. 

00:02:46 Speaker 1 

I mean, how do you even get that stinky? 

00:02:49 Speaker 1 

I am at a complete loss for how to be productive at work when I am constantly dealing with this issue. 

00:02:55 Speaker 1 

I can't focus on anything else. 

00:02:56 Speaker 1 

The smell is that bad. 

00:02:59 Speaker 1 

It makes me feel sick and gives me a headache too. 

00:03:01 Speaker 1 

All I can think about is escaping. 

00:03:04 Speaker 1 

How would you handle this situation? 

00:03:06 Speaker 1 

PS I am also 99% sure he doesn't have a colostomy bag. OK, the end, OK? 

00:03:13 Speaker 1 

What do you mean? 

00:03:16 Speaker 1 

So when we start with this one, right? 

00:03:19 Speaker 2 

You definitely have an issue here. 

00:03:20 Speaker 2 

If it's affecting you to the point where you can't be productive at work, that's a problem, so I don't know how he can handle this situation. 

00:03:27 Speaker 2 

However, I do want to bring up a point because when I first read this, I. 

00:03:31 

OK. 

00:03:34 Speaker 2 

I was thinking about something I had read online, so I went and I found it again. 

00:03:38 Speaker 2 

And I just. 

00:03:39 Speaker 2 

Really need to get your opinion on something, Seth. 

00:03:42 Speaker 1 

OK. 

00:03:44 Speaker 2 

Because apparently there is a very large percentage of men in the world that intentionally purposely do not wipe their ***** 

00:03:58 Speaker 2 

You want to know why? 

00:04:00 Speaker 2 

Because they think that if they do, it means that they are homosexual. 

00:04:05 Speaker 1 

What the hell are you talking about? 

00:04:07 Speaker 2 

Yeah, this is a. 

00:04:08 Speaker 2 

True thing, a true true thing that I discovered not that long ago and it has got my head in a tizzy, I'm. 

00:04:16 Speaker 2 

Like what the **** 

00:04:17 Speaker 2 

Look, it's a for real legit thing. 

00:04:18 

Open one. 

00:04:20 Speaker 2 

There are men out there that are so homophobic that they refuse to even touch their own ******** to clean themselves. 

00:04:27 Speaker 2 

They won't wash it in the shower. 

00:04:29 Speaker 2 

They will not wipe after they **** and that's when I read this. 

00:04:32 Speaker 2 

That made me think of this whole thing. 

00:04:34 Speaker 2 

That's why I went and looked it up again. 

00:04:35 Speaker 2 

And and I just found some other stuff. 

00:04:37 Speaker 2 

I was just like is this. 

00:04:38 Speaker 2 

True, it is true. 

00:04:40 Speaker 2 

But I mean like I wanted to know if. 

00:04:41 Speaker 2 

You'd ever heard of this? 

00:04:43 Speaker 1 

Man, personally, I think you're just you're trying to wrote me into a joke or something. 

00:04:48 Speaker 2 

I'm not and I'm not robo doping anything right now it is it's legit, it's legit. 

00:04:48 Speaker 1 

This is not. 

00:04:51 

This happiness. 

00:04:53 Speaker 2 

You can look it up online, you can find I like I have an article. 

00:04:56 Speaker 2 

I pulled up. 

00:04:57 Speaker 2 

A guy wrote and and he's readiness and says, it just seemed the norm to me. 

00:05:02 Speaker 2 

Skidmarks were just. 

00:05:03 Speaker 2 

Part of my life. 

00:05:10 Speaker 1 

Jesus OK, first of all, no, I have not heard of this too. 

00:05:15 Speaker 1 

Just because you touch your own asks how is that? 

00:05:17 Speaker 1 

How would that make you homophobic? 

00:05:18 

Sometimes if. 

00:05:19 Speaker 1 

Or I mean homosexual? 

00:05:19 Speaker 2 

It doesn't. 

00:05:21 Speaker 2 

It doesn't, it doesn't, but that's the point I'm trying to make is that there is a large percentage of guys out there that are that homophobic, that they refrain from cleaning their rear ends completely in the toilet or in the toilet on the toilet or in the show. 

00:05:21 Speaker 1 

Excuse me. 

00:05:36 Speaker 1 

Power, I mean maybe 'cause they think that OK they touch their **** hole then that and they actually feel some kind of sensation that means whoa I want to get * **** ** there I. 

00:05:44 Speaker 1 

Don't know like what is we talking about. 

00:05:46 Speaker 2 

It's ridiculous, it's I can't believe that there are people that would take it that far that they would just refuse. 

00:05:51 Speaker 2 

So when I read this confession initially. 

00:05:53 Speaker 2 

I was like. 

00:05:54 Speaker 2 

Well, maybe that's what's going on. 

00:05:56 Speaker 2 

Maybe this particular person is. 

00:05:58 Speaker 2 

Intentionally not cleaning themselves because of that. 

00:06:01 Speaker 2 

Maybe this person is one of them. 

00:06:03 Speaker 1 

This is utterly ridiculous now. 

00:06:05 Speaker 1 

OK, well time to get serious for a second. 

00:06:08 Speaker 1 

OK, so if you're not going to wipe your **** because. 

00:06:10 Speaker 1 

You know you're homophobic, I mean, you know what I do. 

00:06:13 Speaker 1 

You know that's somewhere close to this, but not exactly. 

00:06:16 Speaker 1 

You know, I eat my hot dogs from the middle. 

00:06:20 Speaker 2 

You know you don't drink out of a straw. 

00:06:22 

Right see. 

00:06:24 Speaker 2 

Oh my God. 

00:06:26 Speaker 1 

Because I ain't 'cause I ain't no home. 

00:06:28 Speaker 1 

Oh, I ain't no hot dog from the front I hate that from the middle. 

00:06:34 Speaker 2 

I mean, I saw something like some guy invented a thing that, like put a little cover around the hotdog so they could actually eat it within in like a little in private. 

00:06:42 Speaker 1 

It's called the glesi gripper. 

00:06:46 Speaker 1 

Because you know, you don't have no violence eating this. 

00:06:52 Speaker 2 

Oh, that's great. 

00:06:53 Speaker 2 

It's it's considered toxic masculinity, right? 

00:06:56 Speaker 2 

That's that's what it all boils down to. 

00:06:58 Speaker 2 

But this is a true phenomenon. 

00:07:00 Speaker 2 

There's actually a big percentage of guys out there that will not clean their ***** 

00:07:05 Speaker 1 

This is ridiculous. 

00:07:07 Speaker 1 

Let's go to how to help this writer, alright, so say well what all I can do is thinking about escaping. 

00:07:12 Speaker 1 

How would you handle this situation? 

00:07:14 Speaker 1 

You first I want to hear the. 

00:07:16 Speaker 2 

Hell, you say I don't know. 

00:07:17 Speaker 2 

I mean, it's not like you can say excuse me, you know what I mean? 

00:07:21 Speaker 2 

What are you gonna do? 

00:07:22 Speaker 2 

I think you can't say anything. 

00:07:23 Speaker 2 

To this person, because it could be. 

00:07:25 Speaker 2 

Perceived as very rude off putting and you certainly don't know for sure if they do not have a colostomy bag you don't know. 

00:07:32 Speaker 2 

You don't know what this person is actually dealing with, so I think it boils down to how can you. 

00:07:36 Speaker 2 

Will make it better in your own situation. 

00:07:39 Speaker 2 

So maybe bringing in a diffuser and having essential. 

00:07:42 Speaker 2 

Oils or. 

00:07:42 Speaker 2 

Thing just to kind of cover it up, I don't know. 

00:07:45 Speaker 2 

That's the only thing. 

00:07:46 Speaker 2 

I can think. 

00:07:46 Speaker 2 

Of break, put some Vicks put. 

00:07:46 Speaker 1 

I mean, this writer has. 

00:07:48 Speaker 2 

Some Vicks under your on. 

00:07:49 Speaker 1 

Your upper lip. 

00:07:50 Speaker 1 

How does that look in the office? 

00:07:52 Speaker 1 

I mean, this isn't like a. 

00:07:54 Speaker 2 

Vicks is clear you can't see the Vicks you just put some Vicks on your upper. 

00:07:57 Speaker 2 

Lip and you're good. 

00:07:58 Speaker 2 

I thought it was blue. 

00:07:59 

Well, it's clear. 

00:08:00 Speaker 1 

Vicks is blue over. 

00:08:02 Speaker 1 

It's a blue. 

00:08:03 Speaker 1 

Container it's a blue jar. 

00:08:05 Speaker 1 

It's white. 

00:08:06 Speaker 2 

Gonna walk around a blue mustache. 

00:08:08 Speaker 1 

That's what I'm saying. 

00:08:09 Speaker 1 

I was like what is this silence of the Lambs? 

00:08:11 Speaker 1 

Were you looking at a cadaver? 

00:08:12 Speaker 1 

You know, say like, what is this? 

00:08:15 Speaker 1 

It's like you work for IT company. 

00:08:16 Speaker 2 

Same premise, same premise though. 

00:08:17 Speaker 1 

You're not working for the coroner. 

00:08:19 Speaker 2 

Same premise though, but if you really want to like just take care of it, handle it and not have to say anything to this person. 

00:08:26 Speaker 2 

Just do something like that. 

00:08:27 Speaker 2 

Put Vicks on your upper lip. 

00:08:28 Speaker 1 

OK, see this sounds like a typical Colleen answer too, 'cause you're so non confrontational you would just you would just grin and bear the the the ridiculousness I would be. 

00:08:38 Speaker 2 

I wouldn't know how to respectfully handled it like I would not know how to respectfully say something to this person. 

00:08:43 Speaker 2 

You're not going to go up. 

00:08:44 Speaker 2 

In the yo you smoke. 

00:08:44 Speaker 2 

Should you don't? 

00:08:46 Speaker 2 

I mean you type if you're tight with this person, sure be like. 

00:08:49 Speaker 2 

Even Rican, like for real. 

00:08:51 Speaker 2 

For real, like if it was you, I'd be like dude, you ******* 

00:08:54 Speaker 2 

Stink, but if. 

00:08:54 Speaker 2 

It's someone you don't know, it's your. 

00:08:56 Speaker 2 

Boss who has authority over you. 

00:08:59 Speaker 1 

Right? 

00:08:59 Speaker 2 

You're gonna go up. 

00:09:00 Speaker 2 

To them be like he's not. 

00:09:01 Speaker 2 

Like shad you. 

00:09:02 Speaker 2 

Can do. 

00:09:03 Speaker 2 

You can't do that. 

00:09:04 Speaker 1 

Well, you might want to do it. 

00:09:05 Speaker 1 

Like this, you might just want to go around. 

00:09:06 Speaker 2 

Or start a burn like a burn book. 

00:09:08 Speaker 2 

Around be like hey do you think he smells like? 

00:09:09 Speaker 2 

**** too yeah and then everybody. 

00:09:12 Speaker 2 

Talking **** about him, no. 

00:09:14 Speaker 1 

But you know, this isn't just this one person thinking about this. 

00:09:18 Speaker 1 

Everybody knows his boss smells like **** 

00:09:21 Speaker 2 

Right, but my point is if you take the gossip route, that's not the right route either, because eventually it'll get back around and it's going to cause more problems. 

00:09:29 Speaker 2 

So I think the best route is to just take care of it for yourself in. 

00:09:34 Speaker 2 

This particular situation. 

00:09:35 Speaker 1 

OK, so this is what I would do. 

00:09:38 Speaker 1 

This could be. 

00:09:39 Speaker 2 

An anonymous letter. 

00:09:42 Speaker 2 

Sweet Thunder. 

00:09:42 Speaker 1 

'cause you know me, I'm direct, I don't I. 

00:09:45 Speaker 1 

Don't need to. 

00:09:46 Speaker 1 

Apologize for **** no pun intended, right so? 

00:09:50 Speaker 1 

Maybe I would do this. 

00:09:51 Speaker 1 

I mean I would say OK if I was in the same room with the boss right in case I had to he or she was trying. 

00:09:57 Speaker 1 

To tell me to do something exactly exactly like man, oh man, excuse me sorry, I thought that. 

00:09:57 Speaker 2 

Oh yes, yes, my son. 

00:10:03 Speaker 1 

Kind of, I might just maybe tell him myself, quote UN quote, and be like, oh man, or I'd be like, yeah man, it kind of smells weird man. You smell that and then see what the reaction. 

00:10:12 Speaker 1 

Would be and then. 

00:10:13 

But you know? 

00:10:14 Speaker 2 

You know what else? 

00:10:15 Speaker 2 

There's also certain medical conditions that people have where they they actually have a very pungent smell, and they cannot do anything about it. 

00:10:24 Speaker 2 

I watched a a special about that on like lifetime or TL. 

00:10:28 Speaker 2 

I don't know one of those channels that has like. 

00:10:30 Speaker 2 

Medical shows or whatever, and there are people that have these these sweating conditions and they just reek like **** 

00:10:32 Speaker 1 

OK. 

00:10:40 Speaker 2 

So that could be it. 

00:10:41 Speaker 2 

Too, so if you were to bring. 

00:10:42 Speaker 2 

That up, I mean. 

00:10:42 Speaker 2 

That's very this is probably something that this person has been dealing with their whole lives, so again, you have to. 

00:10:47 Speaker 2 

Be sensitive with some of this stuff. 

00:10:49 Speaker 1 

OK, OK and I'm pretty good at that too. 

00:10:51 Speaker 1 

Even though I can be a direct person and you have told me my fiance told me other people told me that sometimes I can be a little abrasive when it comes to stuff and when certain things and I've heard. 

00:11:03 Speaker 1 

That, but on the flip side, people say, you know, I appreciate that 'cause at least you're honest. 

00:11:07 Speaker 1 

So OK, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing, so I would say something kind of stinks in here and I would. 

00:11:16 Speaker 1 

I was like I don't know I I kind of smell some. 

00:11:18 Speaker 1 

Do you smell that and? 

00:11:19 Speaker 1 

And the person. 

00:11:19 Speaker 1 

Says yeah, I have an issue blah blah blah. 

00:11:23 Speaker 1 

Do you smell it? 

00:11:24 Speaker 1 

And I'll be like, yeah I do and I would totally be more nice about it. 

00:11:31 Speaker 1 

I would be more understanding and say OK, yeah, I'm sorry that you're going through that or thanks for sharing. 

00:11:38 Speaker 1 

And you know, I totally appreciate that. 

00:11:40 Speaker 1 

And then I could if it was again, this is me. 

00:11:43 Speaker 1 

So writer, you can do whatever you want to do with this. 

00:11:45 Speaker 1 

You can go down the Colleen route. 

00:11:47 Speaker 1 

You can use the vexx, the the Vicks vapor rub, or you can say. 

00:11:51 Speaker 1 

Sometimes it's a little bit distracting when you and I are talking one. 

00:11:55 Speaker 1 

On one. 

00:11:56 Speaker 1 

Bam, that's all you can say. 

00:11:58 Speaker 1 

We're going to fire you just say, oh, I'm so sorry I didn't really notice it. 

00:12:02 Speaker 1 

Is that bad? 

00:12:03 Speaker 1 

Who knows, man, this guy could be he. 

00:12:05 Speaker 1 

He may not have any sense of smell and Justin shared. 

00:12:07 Speaker 1 

He may not smell his own funk. 

00:12:09 Speaker 2 

That could be it too, yeah. 

00:12:11 Speaker 2 

Or if it is the medical condition, those people that have that condition, they literally cannot get rid of it. 

00:12:16 Speaker 2 

They can shower and put lotion. 

00:12:19 Speaker 2 

They will not go away. 

00:12:20 Speaker 2 

They smell like **** trash and fish. 

00:12:22 Speaker 2 

No joke. 

00:12:22 Speaker 2 

That's exactly what it smells like. 

00:12:23 Speaker 1 

Oh dude, I wouldn't get it now I'm. 

00:12:24 Speaker 2 

Can you imagine how horrible would be for them to be that person that has that condition? 

00:12:29 Speaker 1 

I don't know what I would do. 

00:12:31 Speaker 1 

You can't go hunting. 

00:12:32 Speaker 1 

You can't do anything. 

00:12:33 Speaker 1 

They must going to find your ask. 

00:12:34 Speaker 1 

They're gonna find your stinking ask everywhere. 

00:12:34 

No no. 

00:12:36 Speaker 1 

You can't, you can't hide from nobody, you can't do it. 

00:12:36 

Right? 

00:12:39 Speaker 1 

OK, so miss compassion. 

00:12:41 Speaker 2 

So even if even if you write, even if you were to say so, you're distracting. 

00:12:44 Speaker 2 

I mean the person, if they had that medical condition, they it's not like they could be like Oh yeah, let me go. 

00:12:48 Speaker 2 

I'll take make. 

00:12:49 Speaker 2 

Sure, I shower tonight like they can't. 

00:12:51 Speaker 2 

Do anything about it. 

00:12:53 Speaker 1 

You know, I'm fine after all this stuff. 

00:12:58 Speaker 1 

I'll go ahead and fix it up. 

00:12:59 Speaker 1 

Be like man, whatever man, I'm going to spray my Patchouli everywhere and all my essential oils. 

00:13:06 Speaker 1 

I'll just go to HR with this crap like look man HR. 

00:13:09 Speaker 1 

I can't work in this and more than likely they would probably like. 

00:13:13 Speaker 1 

Spears, I totally get it. 

00:13:14 Speaker 1 

You're like the 18th person that's complaining about this person. 

00:13:17 Speaker 1 

We're trying to get rid of him. 

00:13:19 Speaker 1 

HR wouldn't tell you that, but. 

00:13:19 Speaker 2 

For this poor person. 

00:13:20 Speaker 1 

Right, I know. 

00:13:21 Speaker 2 

Couldn't he's going to get fired because they they have a a condition? 

00:13:24 Speaker 2 

But if it's one of these guys who just won't wipe his *** then that's then they definitely need to be confronted. 

00:13:31 Speaker 1 

Look, you went out of left field with that one, but that's just. 

00:13:34 Speaker 2 

You can look it up. 

00:13:34 Speaker 1 

Far fetched. 

00:13:35 Speaker 2 

Go look it. 

00:13:36 Speaker 2 

Up research it on your own. 

00:13:37 Speaker 2 

I'm not kidding. 

00:13:38 Speaker 2 

I'm not trying to be one of those. 

00:13:40 Speaker 1 

Do your research. 

00:13:41 Speaker 2 

Yeah yeah, do it though and you will see that I'm not kidding. 

00:13:45 Speaker 2 

There's a whole group of people they don't do it and and they get really up. 

00:13:49 Speaker 2 

In arms about it, they're like, oh. 

00:13:50 

No go do. 

00:13:51 Speaker 2 

It oh, they get really ****** *** 

00:13:54 Speaker 1 

You gotta smell like **** Oh my OK, I can't even go there not you know this does remind me I was in a situation that was like this at my job. I used to be a boss and we did have the quote UN quote stinky kid in the class. 

00:13:54 

It's crazy. 

00:14:10 Speaker 1 

And he's a manager call center at one of my previous jobs and we did have this one individual that he didn't smell like **** but he had some serious Bo issues and I had to handle that. 

00:14:22 Speaker 1 

'cause I'm the boss. 

00:14:23 Speaker 1 

So I talked to my boss. 

00:14:24 Speaker 1 

How do we handle this? 

00:14:25 Speaker 1 

And I had to handle that and I was just like what am I going to say? 

00:14:28 Speaker 1 

How do you tell somebody that they stink? 

00:14:29 Speaker 1 

So you know I can actually give true anecdotal advice on this because I now I was the boss talking to the employee, not the employee talking to the boss. 

00:14:38 Speaker 1 

So it's a little bit, but I had to really just say, hey man, this guy want to talk about this it's. 

00:14:44 Speaker 1 

There's kind of an odor, you know when you're walking, and so I kind of just. 

00:14:49 Speaker 1 

I talked about it just like that. 

00:14:50 Speaker 1 

It's like it's kind of an older. 

00:14:51 Speaker 1 

It's kind of distracting and this dude just said, oh, really, I didn't really know. 

00:14:57 Speaker 1 

I really smell that bad, so he was complete and open and honest about it. 

00:15:02 Speaker 1 

So that can happen, but coming from an employee to a boss. 

00:15:07 Speaker 1 

Hey man, did you wipe your *** this time? 

00:15:10 Speaker 1 

It's like I'm not a. 

00:15:11 Speaker 1 

Fagg no, don't do that. 

00:15:13 Speaker 2 

Right exactly 

00:15:14 Speaker 1 

Yeah, so it's kind of ridiculous. 

00:15:16 Speaker 1 

Oh, right, or good luck either. 

00:15:17 Speaker 1 

Use some Vicks or just be straight up or just go to HR so. 

00:15:20 Speaker 1 

That's all I really got for you. 

00:15:22 Speaker 2 

And I. 

00:15:24 Speaker 1 

Alright, so that one man we're start. 

00:15:28 Speaker 1 

We need to have our own business. 

00:15:29 Speaker 1 

We need to be remember like the doctor drew and all that we need to have. 

00:15:32 Speaker 1 

One of those things have these callers and call in with all these problems and we'll just solve them for everybody. 

00:15:36 

Yeah, that's what. 

00:15:37 Speaker 2 

You said last time, yeah, it should be like Adam Corolla and Doctor Drew. 

00:15:38 Speaker 1 

I know I did. 

00:15:40 Speaker 1 

I keep saying that and it's going to happen one of these days. 

00:15:42 Speaker 2 

Yes, it's manifested and manifested into our lives. 

00:15:42 Speaker 1 

That's gonna be our retirement. 

00:15:47 Speaker 1 

Next thing you know, we're gonna be on Oprah that she's still even around. 

00:15:50 Speaker 1 

I don't. 

00:15:50 Speaker 1 

Even know who cares alright? 

00:15:51 Speaker 2 

She's just got her magazine in her channel and. 

00:15:55 Speaker 1 

Alright, so we're gonna do something we're gonna end this one on a humdinger. 

00:15:58 Speaker 1 

That one to me was already a humdinger but we had this one. 

00:16:00 Speaker 2 

Ivy, are you going to do one more? 

00:16:01 Speaker 1 

This one is gonna be. 

00:16:03 Speaker 1 

I'll do one more. 

00:16:04 Speaker 1 

Can I or no please? 

00:16:06 Speaker 1 

Alright, so we're going to do one more. 

00:16:08 Speaker 1 

This one is kind of a humdinger. 

00:16:10 Speaker 1 

This one is labeled confession. 

00:16:16 Speaker 1 

And we're just getting started. 

00:16:18 Speaker 1 

That's all is labeled or something brace yourself. 

00:16:22 Speaker 2 

I am embracing. 

00:16:23 Speaker 1 

All right, this has your favorite word in it too. 

00:16:26 Speaker 3 

Here we go. 

00:16:26 Speaker 1 

So I would like to confess that I like to sniff my own panties. 

00:16:32 Speaker 1 

I really enjoy my own scent dot dot dot and taste. 

00:16:38 Speaker 1 

The end. 

00:16:39 

Who hey? 

00:16:42 Speaker 2 

I don't know what to say. 

00:16:44 

Where do we go with that? 

00:16:45 

I actually. 

00:16:46 Speaker 2 

Actually had a little tear. 

00:16:47 Speaker 2 

Come out 'cause. 

00:16:47 Speaker 2 

I'm like, oh Lord, between the the cringey 

00:16:50 Speaker 2 

Word and then just the whole thing I. 

00:16:54 Speaker 1 

Oh God OK, you like to sniff your own panties. 

00:16:57 Speaker 1 

So this is definitely coming from a woman. 

00:16:59 Speaker 1 

Well let's just. 

00:17:03 Speaker 2 

I'm going to assume that as well. 

00:17:03 Speaker 1 

Right, I'm going to assume that's coming from a woman, but OK, she likes sent, so that would mean that she likes to put her mouth on the goods too. 

00:17:07 Speaker 2 

Like their own scent and her own taste. 

00:17:15 Speaker 2 

Maybe, maybe not. 

00:17:17 Speaker 2 

Maybe she just likes her own taste. 

00:17:19 Speaker 1 

OK, so this is just a confession. 

00:17:21 Speaker 1 

This isn't even advice. 

00:17:21 Speaker 1 

I'm gonna give you some advice in general. 

00:17:23 Speaker 1 

Right, if it really smells that good, there's plenty of weird dudes out there that actually like to sniff panties and that is a thing. 

00:17:24 Speaker 3 

OK. 

00:17:32 Speaker 1 

It's creepy, but you might be able to parlay this into something. 

00:17:35 

Yeah, yeah. 

00:17:37 Speaker 2 

Here comes the African side hustle. 

00:17:42 Speaker 3 

It goes your. 

00:17:43 Speaker 1 

African side hustle. 

00:17:44 Speaker 1 

What you can do is take them panties. 

00:17:51 Speaker 1 

Put that thing. 

00:17:51 

Put them in the bag. 

00:17:52 Speaker 1 

You put them in the bag and put them in the for the one and only fans and you can do whatever with those things. 

00:17:57 Speaker 1 

So if it if it smells, if it's, if it smells like UCUC and it tastes like good cuch, it's good cuch. 

00:18:08 Speaker 1 

Oh man, that's a humdinger. 

00:18:10 Speaker 1 

Oh man. 

00:18:11 Speaker 1 

So anyway, that's the end of that. 

00:18:14 Speaker 1 

This is another confession quarter in the books. 

00:18:18 Speaker 1 

I always laugh at these things. 

00:18:19 Speaker 2 

I love these. 

00:18:19 Speaker 1 

Just we can't just read these things with a straight face. 

00:18:22 Speaker 1 

I always had to stop and say, OK, this is ridiculous, so these are great. 

00:18:27 Speaker 1 

Keep on coming in. 

00:18:28 Speaker 1 

Gosh, we're going to read as many as we can. 

00:18:30 Speaker 1 

The only thing that we are not going to do, we're not going to give a platform to someone when it comes to hate. 

00:18:35 Speaker 1 

Speech and things like that we're not gonna give you a platform for that. 

00:18:37 Speaker 1 

We're going to have to go ahead and skip those. 

00:18:39 Speaker 1 

Those, but we don't. 

00:18:41 Speaker 1 

We're not going to shy away for some stuff that might be a little heavy. 

00:18:43 Speaker 1 

Might be a little racing and all that, but really get out of. 

00:18:46 Speaker 1 

Control, just save that for one of your other hate websites or something like that, just not for not. 

00:18:51 Speaker 1 

For confession quarter, send it, send it. 

00:18:52 Speaker 2 

Yeah, I. 

00:18:54 Speaker 1 

Send it anyway. 

00:18:55 Speaker 1 

It'll be good to read about, but it may or may not get on air, can't be. 

00:18:59 Speaker 2 

Podcast just so you know. 

00:19:00 Speaker 1 

Just say good now you know the more. 

00:19:02 Speaker 2 

Yeah, yeah, I'm here, you know. 

00:19:02 Speaker 3 

You know, now you know.